Our hearts, one beat ;  spirits, bound. communion. sweet

My soul, tethered; threefold cord. Father, Son, Holy Spirit.sure

Gentle whispers woo; heartstrings, tug. Love.

Have you ever noticed how the smell of skunk permeates the air and just seems to hang around forever? You can be driving along and smack – there it is right in your face, er, nose I should say. Twenty miles later you’re still smelling skunk.

Much of life is like that. You go along all hunky-dory and when you least expect it – smack – there it is – something slows you down or changes your plans – and if you hang around long enough the skunk will stink!

My skunk lately has been medical issues – since late October the skunk has been skulking around and won’t leave. I go from one appointment to the next and keep hoping that the stench will finally be gone, but here I am 20 plus miles later and still not through paying the piper.

And I mean paying very literally. Don’t even get me started on the high cost of insurance and medical bills. (on a side note, the hospital thinks they can write off some of my surgery bills – if I give them my life history and tell them all my assets and monthly expenditures – the paper work is a skunk too, but I guess worth it)

But back to metaphorically paying the piper. Last week I had a follow up with my Doctors’ office and that led to two more appointments this week on top of the follow-up I already had scheduled with my surgeon (which should get me released, thus finally getting rid of one skunk – no pun intended).

This week I see a cardiologist to see if he or she agrees that I need an ultrasound, carotid biopsy, and a change in medication. All because I have a heart murmur that I have lived with for 49 years, oh and the fact that I seem to always have high blood pressure at the doctors office. I could tell her why it’s always high – as long as she keeps sending me to see other doctors my blood pressure will be high – because I can’t stand the smell of the skunk any longer!

My other appointment this week is to consult with a sleep specialist to see if I need to be tested for sleep apnea which might explain why I am tired all the time and sometimes wake up in the middle of the night (sometimes you just gotta pee – hmmm… maybe my bladder is too small – dare I mention this to my doctor?).

If she would sleep in my bed for one night and hear the traffic on Grindstead she’d know why I can’t sleep. Of course I might have mentioned to her that occasionally when I wake up I feel like I am gasping for air (this seems to have gotten worse since I have been smelling the skunk – could they be related?)

Naturally ….all of this has to be done before my little colon procedure on the 5th of April because, to quote my doctor (actually PAC) “If I were your anesthesiologist I would want to know your results prior to putting you out” Never mind that I was just put out for surgery prior to having all these test and did just fine thank you very much.

So, the skunk really stinks right now. I had it all planned out – one thing at a time – surgery (check), colonoscopy, then deal with all the other stuff. My theory? If they find something wrong with my heart or decide that I have sleep apnea I’ll be a lot more nervous to have the colon procedure than if I didn’t know anything else was pending. I prefer to deal with one thing at a time if I have to face it at all. But due to the nature of skunks when they stir up a stink they really stink.

So, here I am, way too stressed and about to hyperventilate on the smell of skunk – you know how it is when you’re driving along and yawn at the wrong time?

Right now my favorite day is April 6 because that is the day after my colonoscopy, which should mean that all my other procedures are over with and God willing the smell of skunk will have finally cleared and I will be able to breathe again.

In the meantime I will put a clothes pin on my nose and look for the lessons to be learned and carry a sling-shot in case I see any more skunks lurking around the corner.

Then, God willing, I’m going to make plans to get out of Dodge for awhile, because if you hang around long enough the skunk will stink.

Skunkfully yours,

Teresa

P.S. Did I mention she thinks I should also see a dermatologist because I have a couple places on my legs – caused by a burn from oven cleaner on one of the few, and I stress few, times that I have ever cleaned an oven in my life…seems these things can change and cause problems with time and well, they should be checked out…………whatever………….maybe later.

P.P.S. I do value my health and take it seriously and trust God’s provision, but sometimes you just gotta clear the air of skunk!

When the Psalmist is talking about God’s dwelling place however, he is not talking about dwelling places in the sense of brick and mortar manisons or cottages, rather he is talking about being with God and looking ahead to eternity which is our permanent home.   In verse two he says “My Soul yearns, even faints for the courts of the Lord;”  One version says that his soul languishs for the courts of the Lord.  In Victorian times, to languish usually meant to be almost consumed by your desire for someone or something.  In Illness, to languish puts you near death. 

The psalmist so languishs after the Lord and dwelling with him that he is ready to turn his back on any hint of earthly roots.   He has realized that he is just a pilgrim traveling through life to get to his real destination.  To be on a pilgrimage is more than just traveling.  Pilgrimage has purpose; you are traveling to a holy place.  Warren Wiersbe in his BE Worshipful commentary, says that “a pilgrim is heading home.”

Too many times we think the pilgrimage is finding the perfect dwelling place be it actual dwelling, or possibly the right location.  We then proceed to put down roots as if we are going to be established forever.  Instead, as Christians we should be holding the things of this world loosely and looking to the final destination as our root source.  Corrie ten Boom says, “I’ve learned that we must hold everything loosely, because when I grip it tightly, it hurts when the Father pries my fingers loose and takes it from me.”

Giving up our earthly dreams does indeed hurt sometimes, but the hurt can be for our good if we allow God to teach us the greater truths about what it really means to dwell with him.  My “Tennessee Home” as I called it, was a dream I had to give up and I greived over the loss.  For me, it was my dream home and it was the most peaceful place I had ever lived on this earth.  I called it my God house.  I truly do believe it was a gift from God and I believe it was ok to love my home.  When the time came to move on I was willing, or so I thought, to give up my house.  The delayed reaction though, once the dust had settled on our new adventure, was that I went through actual grief at giving up my dream home.  God has been using this grief to teach me some much needed lessons (he has used other things too, that are for another time:).

What I have come to realize is that home is a place in the heart that you take with you wherever you go; home on earth is not a permanent destination, it is just part of the pilgrimage to where we’re going to dwell eternally. If we are willing to give up our dreams and plans, that leaves room for God to plant his desires in our heart.

I want the cry of my heart to be as the Psalmist says in verse 10 of this same chapeter: “Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wickid.”

So where are you on this pilgrimage? Are you languishing to dwell with God or are you busy holding on tightly to things that will have to be pried from your grip?

Prayer:  ” …O Lord Almighty, my king and my God.  Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you.  Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.”  Psalm 84:3b-5 (NIV)

Related Song:  “Whatever it Takes” written by Lanny Wolf    “…Take my houses and lands, change my dreams and my plans, for I’m placing my whole life in your hands.  And if you call me today to a land far away, Lord, I’ll go and your will obey.  For whatever it takes to draw closer to you…..I’ll trade sunshine for rain, comfort for pain, that’s what I’ll be willing to do…”

Coming Soon:  Thougts about the Valley of Baca – also mentioned in Psalm 84

From my sister I have learned that…
1.  Life is an adventure to be enjoyed
2.  Fear is conqured by doing
3.  Making friends is necessary
4.  Dancing is good for the soul.
5.  Your work should be something you love
6.  Wordplay keeps your mind sharp
7.  You should vaccuum only when absolutely necessary
8.  Affirmations get more results than anger
9.  You can’t allow anyone else to define who you are
10. Sometimes you need to retreat from the world

From my maternal grandmother I learned that…
1. it is ok to eat crackers in bed
2. I should love everybody the same, but make everyone feel like they are the most important person in my life 
3. prayer is powerful and sometimes it takes a long time to name every family member
4. life is fun and it’s ok to stop in the middle of a busy day and play
5. no matter how many things you have to keep up with they will all get done.
6. going to church is important
7. feather beds are comforting, but hugs are even better
8. family stories should be carried to the next generation
9. opening your home to others is a privilege
10. children are to be heard as well as seen

From my paternal grandmother I learned that…
1. sometimes you just need to stay on top of the hill and mind your own business
2. being quiet is graceful and sometimes necessary
3. taking care of your family is more important than other “stuff”
4. you should always take time for a good book
5. you always provide for your guest and make no apologies for that provision
6. keeping notes for the future helps you look back and appreciate what you have been
given
7. snow gives you time to hibernate and retreat for replenishment
8. husbands are the head of the house even when they let us do things our way
9. keeping the peace is more important than proving points
10. quilts tell their own stories and bring comfort

From my aunt Nancy I learned that…
1. we all need a safe haven from the world
2. life is too short to worry about the small stuff
3. music is made in your heart and played loudly on an accordion
4. it’s ok to try new things, like painting a room bright orange, or learning all the words to
“Harper Valley PTA”
5. it’s ok to talk freely without fear of being judged and to let others do the same
6. dreaming out loud helps you plan for your future
7. sometimes it’s ok to break the “rules” if nobody gets hurt
8. falling in love is wonderful when you listen to your heart
9. sharing special moments with others makes them even more special
10. in our hearts we never really lose those we love

From my mother-in-law I have learned that…
1. perseverance is important
2. you can be friends with your mother-in-law
3. good husbands come from good mothers
4. our attitude is what colors our world
5. you don’t want to be taken to the apple tree for a talk
6. Christmas is for kids of all ages
7. time spent in the swing or on the back porch is time well spent
8. deer and birds are worth watching
9. family sticks by each other no matter what
10. love conquers all